One Last Thing...

I know I said the last post was the last post but I thought of something I wanted to include immediately after I posted so I am going to blog twice... in forty minutes...

Was I the only one who kind of liked Peter's sisters in Fruit? I know they are awful to him about 90% of the time and the scene in the mall with Christine is ridiculously heartbreaking. But... at the end I think they redeem themselves. As soon as he says he wants to lose the weight and he wants to go jogging or to aerobics class, they offer to help him. I thought it was interesting that they were all overweight (Christine isn't during the duration of the novel but he mentions that she used to be the fattest of them all). And then Christine and Nancy get skinny leaving Peter to become the "fat" one. So instead of hating the sisters (who I thought were just trying to break free of the fat and their family) the character I hated the most was the mom. Peter is unhealthy and the doctor is telling her this and she's not listening. And she just keeps feeding him. At the end of the novel, when Peter wants to lose weight and make a change his mom doesn't understand. Instead of being supportive, she bitches (pardon the language) about how all her kids are blaming her for their weight problems (page 251 and 252). I guess I just liked that in the end, when his mother is making everything about her, Peter and his sisters reach a mutual understanding and they support him when his mother doesn't.

Now I'm done. For real this time.

Final Thoughts

Ahhh... the last blog post. I'm not going to lie... I am not sad to see the end of this assignment. I really liked reading what other people had to say about the course material, it was just difficult to force myself to blog/comment every week (which is probably why I am so far behind on my commenting... woops!) Anyways, as this is the last week we will have to post, I figured I would just end with some of my overall thoughts about the semester. This course was challenging for me. It forced me to think about things I hadn't before and sometimes our class discussions made my head spin. The theory was, in a word, terrifying but I got through it and I feel more informed because of it. I really enjoyed most of the novels we read. Favorites?: Fruit and Zami. I liked that both of these novels (or novel and biomythography, I guess) blurred the lines between what is real and what is not. Fruit managed to take us inside the head of a 13 year old, sexually confused boy who thinks his nipples are talking to him. The scene in the basement with Billy Archer where Peter is drunk really blurred the line between fantasy and reality: as a side affect of the alcohol, Peter reverts into one of his bedtime fantasies (I just had to look up how to spell "fantasy" in plural form...it's going to be a long week) even though he is very much awake and still in the presence of other people. Zami is a biomythography. As we discussed in class this is kind of a complicated genre; reading it, you're not sure if this is her life as it really took place, if this is her life as she imagined it happened, if this is fiction and if it's a combination which parts are which. I think my favorite lecture of the semester was the Brian Francis visit (I am sure I am not alone in this...) He was personable, well spoken and interesting, and it was nice to end an often confusing, frustrating semester on a really positive note. Anyways, I am off to get to work on my assignment-pile-of-doom. Good luck to everyone on finals, papers, assignments, etc...

Tiny Shorts

I'm not sure if we are supposed to blog this week because of the holiday. But I figure because I didn't post last week (wooops...) I should today. I don't have a whole bunch to say so this is going to be fairly short. I really enjoyed our class on Camp (and yes, I know this is taking us back to a week ago...). I haven't laughed that hard in a class in a while. I forgot how cheesy the old Batman and Robin was. I remember watching it when I was little and really liking it, and I'm thinking the fact that it's so campy probably only added to my enjoyment level. I like that they take themselves soooo seriously but the audience knows how ridiculous they are being. Also, how can Robin take himself seriously when he is wearing such tiny shorts? (I actually wrote this down while we were watching the clips in class - Robin = tiny shorts.) Anyways, this was kind of a lame blog entry but oh well. Hope everyone is having a nice break from school.

Rewriting the Story

This week we're supposed to focus on one of the questions from the e-mail but I am tired, I am sick, and I have probably taken too much cold medicine to form a coherent answer to any of them so I've decided to just spout off some thoughts about last Thursday's class. Professor Hurley asked us where we would intervene in the story of Herculine or Caster if we were given the opportunity. The options that came up in class were either the utopian, happy ending or the sad, hopeless ending. But I was thinking about it after and I think I'd want to intervene by giving them a voice. I'd actually like to know what Caster has to say and her reaction to the accusations. You Magazine gave her a makeover but I wanted to know whether they actually did an interview with her as well. From what I could find it was basically a photospread and a quote that says "I'd like to dress up more often and wear dresses but I never get the chance." She goes on to say that she sees the scandal as a joke and that she's not upset by it. "God made me the way I am and I accept myself. I am who I am and I'm proud of myself." (http://www.mg.co.za/article/2009-09-08-caster-is-a-cover-girl - this is the link to the website I found). Really... that's it? I mean it seems pretty obvious that she is upset about it because she's now on suicide watch. To be honest, I'm kind of angry at You Magazine. I mean they have the opportunity to humanize this poor girl... to show people what she's feeling and how the situation has affected her life and to maybe invoke some sympathy instead of harsh jusgment. Instead, they give her a makeover to make her seem more feminine. I guess it just confuses me because I'm more interested in what she has to say about who she is than what she looks like.

Equality

I am finding myself at a loss for anything to write this week. I also kind of found myself at a loss for anything to say in the discussion we had in class yesterday. Even though I am a female, I haven't found that I am the focus of a lot of inequality... I got into the university I wanted to, I get the jobs I feel I am qualified for (and I will be the first to say that at this point in my education/life the only jobs I am really qualified for are in retail), and I feel like I am treated as an equal among my family, coworkers, friends, etc. I'm also only 21 so my life experience is fairly limited... To put it simply, inequality doesn't really factor into my day-to-day existence and I don't feel like I can speak for people who are the focus of inequality when I don't experience it first hand. Or so I thought... I did find yesterday's debate really interesting. It's always nice to hear other people's points of view and when inequalities other than those focused on gender (ie. race, age, the language you speak, class... etc) began to be brought up it got me thinking that perhaps we are all the aim of some kind of inequality. I, for one, am an arts kid so my programs at the university/buildings I study in do not get the same kind of funding as say a student studying engineering. I am young so people might think I am naive or silly. I am not model pretty so I could never apply for a job at the Cactus Club Cafe and expect to get it (no offense to anybody who works at the Cactus Club Cafe... they seem to only hire very attractive people so I thought I would use it to further my example). So I guess my previous statements that I don't face inequality weren't entirely true. Yet, my inequalities don't hit the same level as inequalities based on sexism or racism. I do the best I can, and until a solution to inequality is found (which I'm thinking, based on our discussion, will be...ummm... never?) isn't that all anybody can do?

Happily-Ever-After

So... this is a tad late this week due to some internet issues I have been having in my apartment. Anyways... I really enjoyed Tuesday's class discussion about how Anne Sexton transforms the fairytales of the Brother's Grimm to reflect a modern day audience. I took a Fairytale and Folklore Comparative Lit class last year and we discussed this in depth. Not specifically Sexton's poetry but how fairy tales have often been used to reflect the time they are written in and both the speaker and the audience's values. It's interesting that Sexton would choose to use the Brothers Grimm versions because they, in fact, manipulated earlier versions to reflect the German bourgeoisie's patriarchal values during the 19th century. They emphasized the importance of the nuclear family and female domesticity. Often, their tales initially showed the dissolution of the nuclear family and the subsequent effects on their protagonist. Take for example "Cinderella". Cinderella's troubles begin with the loss of her mother and the destruction of her family. However, she remains loyal to her mother and plants the tree on her grave, and in return her mother takes care of her; her gifts make it so Cinderella can go to the ball, fall in love with the prince, and be part of an "advantageous" marriage. It's really all about devotion to your family and continuing that tradition through a happily-ever-after marriage. I found Sexton's "Snow White" interesting because she's showing a different side of that argument. Snow White becomes a doll and her marriage appears to trap her in that form; marriage, it seems, is not always advantageous. Ultimately, she's dissolving the idea of nuclear family that figured so prominently in the Grimm fairy tales because the nuclear family appears to be dissolving in modern North American Society.

Thoughts on Wide Sargasso Sea

I have decided, after some internal debate, that I enjoyed Wide Sargasso Sea. It was a difficult book for me to get through. It's a novel that centers around madness and suicide, racism and violence, and ultimately despair and lost hope. Even though it was fairly short, I found that I kept having to put it down just to get out of the characters' heads. In the end though, it's also a novel that touches on a lot of important issues, including those dealing with gender and post-colonialism, and I guess I felt more informed (?) when I finally finished reading it.

One of the things I found most interesting was the theme of being protected, or who or what is protecting Antoinette, and safety that Jean Rhys weaves through her novel. In the first section, Antoinette is just a little girl living in some awfully dangerous and confusing circumstances. Her mother is slipping away from her and she feels threatened by everything around her. Even her home doesn't seem safe. She has to continually tell herself she's safe (10) but does she actually believe it? She is so desperate to feel protected by something that she believes in the safety of her stick. "It was not a stick, but a long narrow piece of wood, with two nails sticking out at the end... I thought I can fight with this, if the worst comes to the worst. ... I believe that no one could harm me when it was near me." (18) I initially found this passage kind of funny and endearing (I remember sleeping with a frying pan when I was little when my parents left me with a babysitter) but then I saw the desperation in it. My parents always came home making home feel safe again but Antoinette has a constant sense of forboding and a shingle to protect her. Does the stick do anything? No. It just gives the illusion of safety. Eventually she outgrows her belief in its protecting power, only to replace it with something else.

In the second section of the novel, Antoinette believes that Rochester has arrived to rescue her and protect her. He recalls when she tells him, "... everything is on our side. ... I used to sleep with a piece of wood by my side so that I could defend myself if I were attacked. That's how afraid I was." (42) Through her marriage to Rochester, Antoinette feels comforted. He makes her feel happiness. She likes to be told by him "you are safe" (56). However, this safety is once again just an illusion. He begins to believe the stories he is told about her family, and he takes away his love, her happiness, and the safety he once provided her with.

In the final section, Antoinette is imprisoned. But it seems she is finally protecting herself instead of relying on something or somebody for her safety. She is violent (118). Is she driven to violence by madness? Sure. But in her final actions, the suicide that is not explicitly stated but we know occurs, she is protecting herself from a life of imprisonment. She takes back her own agency and frees herself from a lifetime of anxiety. Death seems to be the only place where she will find true safety.

Orlando

I am kind of at a loss for anything to write about but...

I thought it was interesting in class yesterday when we were talking about how Virginia Woolf bases most of her novel Orlando inside the protagonist's head. We only become familiar with her thoughts and reactions, and never with those of the people around her. Someone commented that this may be because Virginia Woolf wanted to remove the influence of the audience both inside the novel itself, and externally as she was writing it. This made me wonder what the actual audience response was in 1928 when Orlando was published? Did people see it as risque? Was it heavily criticized or praised? So... I did a little research on Wikipedia (I figured since this was a blog entry my research didn't need to come from strictly academic sources.) I will admit that it doesn't say a whole lot about the response but I did find it interesting that the author of the entry argues that Woolf used magic within the book to escape criticism for what could be considered a lesbian love storyline. Because Orlando is a man when he is involved with Princess Sasha people didn't think it was controversial even though he turns into a woman later on in the novel. The Well of Loneliness by Radclyffe Hall was published in the same year as Orlando but it was banned for dealing with lesbianism. Obviously, it was a very taboo subject and Woolf writes her story in the way she does (with a gender metamorphosis part way through) to avoid censorship.

On a final note, a fun fact: U of A's Orlando Project, a database dedicated to English female writers, is named after the novel. Ahhh, the things you learn from Wikipedia.

Thoughts and Such

This week we had to read both Boy Meets Girl and a selection from A Room of One's Own. I liked both readings and I'm happy to report that I may have actually understood them as opposed to the previous readings for our class.

First: Boy Meets Girl. The discussion in yesterday's class about whether Anthea becomes involved with Robin as a result of seeing her tag and misunderstanding the word Iphisol was interesting. When I initially read the book I thought the big moment for Anthea was when she decided to continue her streak of rebellion, leave the meeting, and go down to see what is going on with the Pure sign. This was the moment, in my opinion, that set in motion her relationship with Robin but I can't say that I attribute Anthea's decision to her curiosity about the word Iphisol. There is no evidence in the novel that suggests that Anthea knew what Robin was doing to the sign; that she knew ahead of time that Robin was the artist of the graffiti she had seen earlier in the day. In fact, she thinks that she's doing "some kind of maintenance on the sign" (42). To me it seems that the meeting between Robin and Anthea is coincidence.

Another thing that has stuck with me since I initially read the book was that Anthea's name means "a blooming of flowers" (82). We find this out right after Midge recalls that Robin adorned the letter L-E-Z with little flowerheads, "like the letters are the branches of the tree and they've all just come into bloom" (73). I'm not entirely sure whether Smith intended there to be a connection here or if I'm just reading too much into it. I'd like to think that it shows that both Anthea and Robin have had to find a positive meaning in words. Lez could be taken as derogatory but Robin chooses to make it something beautiful and Anthea thinks she's named after a character on TV when in actuality her name means so much more. I'm not sure if that really makes any sense. I'm still kind of spinning my wheels on it. Thoughts?

Finally, we didn't get to really discuss A Room of One's Own but I really liked how empowering it is for women. I loved when Woolf quotes John Langdon Davies. He said "'that when children cease to be altogether desirable, women cease to be altogether necessary'" (120). And then she uses this quote to encourage other women to go out and be something more than childbearers because they have more to offer than that. I'm definitely looking forward to discussing this reading more on Thursday.

Secrets... continued?

I was reading over my post from Tuesday and realized that I didn't really connect it to the topic at hand which is, obviously, being transgender. I think that so often people who are transgender feel like they have to conceal who they really are. Maybe this is because they feel they will disappoint their families or are afraid of the ridicule they may face because let's face it: anything or anybody that is different is going to face some ridicule. They may, and I'm not saying this is true for all transgenders but I'm sure it is for some, live their lives shrouded in secrecy, afraid to be who they want to be. But Deleuze and Guattari argue that secrets should be shared in an innocent and honest way as if to say "This secret... this secret is no big deal." Because isn't that the last thing anyone, including transgenders, want to become? A secret.

Secrets

Good grief... it seems to be a pretty common opinion in the blogs I have skimmed so far that the Deleuze and Guattari reading was challenging. And my opinion is no exception; a large portion of it was definitely over my head.

Yet, I found some very interesting points within the reading (... at least from the parts I actually understood). My favorite part of the essay was Memories of the Secret where they discuss what a secret actually is. I liked how they described that a secret is not defined only by what it contains but by how it is perceived, and by how it spreads. Anybody who finds out and perceives a secret must also be a secret meaning a blackmailer isn't just going to go up to the person they are blackmailing and say "Hi, I'm blackmailing you." As well the secret inevitably spreads. When Deleuze and Guattari describe "the secret as secretion" (287) I was reminded of poison, slowly spreading through a population and I thought that was really interesting because often secrets poison the minds of the people who know them, either through guilt or through greed.

I also really liked the way Deleuze and Guattari describe the contrast between how men and women keep secrets. Men are "knights of the secret" (289) while women are essentially, according to Delueze and Guattari's argument, gossips. However, they spin this gossiping in a positive light; while women often end up disclosing a secret, they do so in such an innocent manner that people don't really seem to notice. While I am okay with, but not thrilled about, many of the stereotypes that come with being a female and feminine (I like pink, I like makeup, I like dancing, I can be ditzy but not always) being labeled a gossip simply because of my sex has always kind of stung me. I mean I can keep a secret. Yet Deleuze and Guattari almost empower being a gossip and they seem to have a very valid point. All secrets come out in the end. Maybe it's better to just tell the secret and get the reveal over with than to let it consume you.

"Some people can talk, hide nothing, not lie: they are secret by transparency, as impenetrable as water, in truth incomprehensible. Whereas the others have a secret that is always breached, even though they surround it with a thick wall or elevate it to an infinite form" (290).